Seeing the Beauty in Being Human

by Cryshtal Avera on October 26, 2011

To me, “being human” means showing what, in the past, I would have called “having issues”…or something similar pointing to negativity. I’m now beginning to see those moments as authentic, and I can see the beauty in a person allowing me to be present to see it and allowing themselves to just be. By default, I am also seeing the beauty in being authentic in those moments, rather than beating myself up. I’m learning to notice and let go. I’m beginning to transcend and truly show up for myself and in my relationships in a more powerful way.

What a journey these last few months have been! Moving a business and opening a second location, becoming a certified Parelli Professional, and participating in the Tribal Leadership Intensive 1 and 2 courses. All these experiences have created a flow of opportunity for major growth that I never saw coming.

Fortunately, I have been given tools and accountability that have led me to focus on human relationships more than I had been in a long time. I’ve come to see that living a meaningful life starts with real connections. Not networking; CONNECTIONS. Before I can ask a person to get involved in a project or do something with or for me, I really need to connect with them to have anything of beauty come of it. Simultaneously, we have to find some resonance of values and a noble cause. In the Tribal Leadership Intensive Courses, we have been working on listening for values in conversations with others. This has given me more of an awareness on how much I have not been truly connecting with people in my life.

My new perspective has improved my relationship with Jesse as well.

My new perspective has improved my relationship with Jesse as well.

I had consistently been focused on myself in conversations and relationships – what are my interests, what am I excited about, what do I want from this interaction, what do I want to say next? How self-absorbed! For a while, I’d been thinking I had a self-worth problem. I now am asking myself this question: “does lack of self-worth sometimes mean too much self-absorption?” If we are feeling down or seeing the world in a way that causes us to question our worth, are we being a bit self-absorbed? On the flip side, if we’re focused on supporting others in our lives and look for opportunities to increase their success or happiness, it seems almost impossible to feel lack of self-worth.

Tribal Leadership Level 1 and 2 teachings also include creating relationships based on merit, which is helping me to see that some relationships don’t make sense. This allows me to move on and not judge them, or me, but to be clear that the relationship doesn’t make sense. How powerful. At this time in my life, these glorious opportunities are truly helping me transition into a much more powerful place. I knew there was something missing in me, and it is beginning to show up and be filled up. I now keep this formula in my mind as I connect with other humans:

connection & support + values & project + filling roles with sensible relationships = authentic, genuine success for ALL.

I’ve come to this conclusion. Life is way more than a journey. It’s a conversation full of inquiry. I am truly putting the connection with my horse first and not moving forward to “do” anything if the expression isn’t there. I’m getting more clear on the concept of having loyalty to my horse. The connection is everything. What does my horse need in every moment? That’s the question I now ask. And I can finally focus on that without letting the worry of possible judgement from others cloud the conversation.

I’m not saying that doesn’t happen occasionally. I am, after all, simply human…beautifully human.

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Laura Beaver October 28, 2011 at 8:01 am

Bravo and Thank you for sharing. You’ve given me lots to lick and chew on! The timing of your blog is on target for me. How Interesting! All the best to you!

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Cryshtal Avera October 28, 2011 at 9:10 am

Hi Laura, Thanks! Yes, it is interesting. Isn’t life amazing? I’m so grateful to connect in this way through Parelli. -goosebumps:-) All the best:-)

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Cryshtal Avera October 27, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Thanks, Jodie! You’re so kind and I am thrilled to connect through these blogs and resonant life lessons:-)

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Geneviève Benoit October 27, 2011 at 12:37 pm

:-) :-) :-)
Wonderful insights Crystal!

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cryshtal Avera October 27, 2011 at 5:26 pm

Thanks so much, Genevieve!

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Anne October 27, 2011 at 10:58 am

“what does my horse need in every moment?” thank you. My last visit with my horse I definitely had more moments when I asked what I needed from her, rather than what she needed.

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Cryshtal Avera October 27, 2011 at 5:28 pm

I notice I struggle with this, Anne, but am better accepting me as being human in those moment, then letting go and moving forward. It’s an amazing gift to be able to forgive myself that translates into forgiving and seeing the beauty in imperfection in others:-) Thanks so much for connecting on this; it’s so fulfilling to connect with others who resonate on these core life values:-)

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Jan Dregalla October 27, 2011 at 9:39 am

I love your description of what you are learning transfering for horses to humans and back. It’ something I notice too but need to take much further…or let happen much more is a better way to put it. Thanks for sharing.

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Cryshtal Avera October 27, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Hi Jan, Thanks so much for your kind words and you’re willingness to share and be open is lovely. So empowering and I thank you:-)

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Alison Parker-Jervis October 27, 2011 at 5:18 am

Very insightful . . . thanks for sharing.

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Cryshtal Avera October 27, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Mahalo (thank you) Alison:-)

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Jodie Webber October 26, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Brilliant! Thankyou for sharing, your honesty and insights into human and horse relationships/connections is inspiring :)

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Kathy Craig October 26, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Thank you for blogging about this subject Cryshtal. I’m still licking and chewing over a couple of very human moments that happened to me this past weekend while attending a L 3/4 clinic so your blog post resonates with me. I’m still trying to completely understand the moments and the events leading up to them. I’m not looking at these events in a negative way, it was just me being human and it’s all part of the journey and part of my personal growth. I know there are lessons I need to learn, some to take forward with me and some to let go of and leave in the past. I’m working on it but I’m a work in progress!!

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Cryshtal Avera October 27, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Hi Kathy,
Thanks for sharing your experience and being so authentic and open! Good on you for noticing and letting go…and looking for the learning opportunities. What a beautiful conversation life is…full of inquiry and opportunity:-) I am inspired and rejuvenated by your willingness to share and be so open and vulnerable in that. Much Aloha!

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