To me, “being human” means showing what, in the past, I would have called “having issues”…or something similar pointing to negativity. I’m now beginning to see those moments as authentic, and I can see the beauty in a person allowing me to be present to see it and allowing themselves to just be. By default, I am also seeing the beauty in being authentic in those moments, rather than beating myself up. I’m learning to notice and let go. I’m beginning to transcend and truly show up for myself and in my relationships in a more powerful way.
What a journey these last few months have been! Moving a business and opening a second location, becoming a certified Parelli Professional, and participating in the Tribal Leadership Intensive 1 and 2 courses. All these experiences have created a flow of opportunity for major growth that I never saw coming.
Fortunately, I have been given tools and accountability that have led me to focus on human relationships more than I had been in a long time. I’ve come to see that living a meaningful life starts with real connections. Not networking; CONNECTIONS. Before I can ask a person to get involved in a project or do something with or for me, I really need to connect with them to have anything of beauty come of it. Simultaneously, we have to find some resonance of values and a noble cause. In the Tribal Leadership Intensive Courses, we have been working on listening for values in conversations with others. This has given me more of an awareness on how much I have not been truly connecting with people in my life.
I had consistently been focused on myself in conversations and relationships – what are my interests, what am I excited about, what do I want from this interaction, what do I want to say next? How self-absorbed! For a while, I’d been thinking I had a self-worth problem. I now am asking myself this question: “does lack of self-worth sometimes mean too much self-absorption?” If we are feeling down or seeing the world in a way that causes us to question our worth, are we being a bit self-absorbed? On the flip side, if we’re focused on supporting others in our lives and look for opportunities to increase their success or happiness, it seems almost impossible to feel lack of self-worth.
Tribal Leadership Level 1 and 2 teachings also include creating relationships based on merit, which is helping me to see that some relationships don’t make sense. This allows me to move on and not judge them, or me, but to be clear that the relationship doesn’t make sense. How powerful. At this time in my life, these glorious opportunities are truly helping me transition into a much more powerful place. I knew there was something missing in me, and it is beginning to show up and be filled up. I now keep this formula in my mind as I connect with other humans:
connection & support + values & project + filling roles with sensible relationships = authentic, genuine success for ALL.
I’ve come to this conclusion. Life is way more than a journey. It’s a conversation full of inquiry. I am truly putting the connection with my horse first and not moving forward to “do” anything if the expression isn’t there. I’m getting more clear on the concept of having loyalty to my horse. The connection is everything. What does my horse need in every moment? That’s the question I now ask. And I can finally focus on that without letting the worry of possible judgement from others cloud the conversation.
I’m not saying that doesn’t happen occasionally. I am, after all, simply human…beautifully human.