Have you noticed most of the people on Parelli Connect are women? So where are all the men?
Jamie: My husband is not a rider. I started to say “not a horse lover,” but that is not quiet true. While he is not comfortable around them himself, he totally supports my horse addiction, even enabling it.
I broke my arm a few years ago when Cici was stung by a bee on her belly and leapt in the air. I fell to the ground. As I was waiting for the bones to heal, Robert drove me to the barn every day. “Take as long as you need,” he’d tell me, and he’d sit in the car reading a book. I would sit in the paddock with Cici and Casey.
“Why are you doing this? I know how upset you are about the accident and how you blame Cici,” I’d say. His response? “You need horse time to completely heal.”
Jo said: What a heartwarming story, Jamie. A few years ago I was in the running for first place in State in my Hunter-Jumper division. Every competition counted. The week of our biggest competition, I got a call from my son, saying their second child was on the way. I wrote off the competition and hopped on a plane, arriving into town before the baby. I was privileged to spend the week with them, helping out.
Mentally I had given up the competition, but as my plane landed back in Salt Lake City, my trainer called. “The competition is running late,” she said, “and if you hurry, you can make it.” I started to tell her I was just getting off the plane when my husband buzzed thru saying, “Honey, I have been watching this competition and it’s running late. I got your clothes (out of the dirty clothes), I’ve warmed up your horse, and I think we can make it if you drive straight there.” I told my trainer, drove straight to the competition, changed in the back of the trailer, and got to the ring 30 seconds before my turn in the arena.
I think what we’re both trying to say is that whether they ride or not, whether they practice Parelli or not, it’s hard to do horses without support, and husbands can be a remarkable support.
Jamie said: I’ve noticed posts on Parelli Connect regarding husbands. How they have given their wives the opportunity to reconnect with their dream of horses. How they build things such as barns and slow feeders. Dig post holes and put up fencing. Even go ranch shopping! And how they are there for their horse-crazy women.
Jo said: My husband calls himself “A Desperate Horse Husband,” but it’s always with a smile on his face.
We have different styles. He’s an old cowboy type who was riding bareback from childhood. I think it’s important to support each other respectfully, no matter what our styles. While my husband doesn’t “practice Parelli,” I did notice him saying “Well, Parelli says . . .” when a friend mentioned a problem with his horse the other day. He had it right, so I just walked away quietly with a smile on my face.
Jamie said: I think my husband would agree with “Desperate Horse Husband!” While he is not involved with horses, he often tells me to “go to the barn.” I pause and thank him for his willingness to share me with my horses.
{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }
← Previous Comments
Nice blog Jo. If I were to put an add in the paper for a husband it would read -
Wanted loving man who doesn’t mind that the horse is first. Be willing to help
with hay stacking, occasionally hauling buckets of water and feeding. A man who
has to know that I will spend on the average 2 hours a day with one horse, if I have more do the math. In return I will be a much easier woman to get along with
and you won’t have to pay for my psychoanalysis session because that will happen at the barn with the horse.
I was going through a rough patch and a friend who is a therapist asked me if I was seeing anyone. Well, yes – I see my horses.
The definition of hus·band·ry (hzbn-dr)
n.
1.
a. The act or practice of cultivating crops and breeding and raising livestock; agriculture.
b. The application of scientific principles to agriculture, especially to animal breeding.
2. Careful management or conservation of resources; economy.
Yep, that’s the definition, all right. It may apply to livestock, but it doesn’t apply to horses! My husband quite accurately points out that ‘Horse Husbandry’ has nothing to do with the care and feeding of horses. It is the care and feeding of horse WOMEN!
It is the ‘Have a nice ride, be careful …’ as she skips out the door in mud boots, the ‘I knew you’d be fine’ though it’s clear he is more than relieved when she shows up well after dark lost (well, not exactly lost) in the mountains at night, the ‘of course you better take him to the vet, here is the check book’, and the ‘Another horse … how cute he is!’…. kind of guy.
Thank you! to the handsome, patient horse husband who puts up with me!
Well my story is a little different. I wrote only late last year on Parelli Connect, about how I was struggling with the fact that my husband wants nothing at all to do with my passion for my horse. He doesn’t ask ‘how was he today’, or ‘how was your ride’. I have to pick my moments when the TV is free so I can put a Parelli DVD on, so as not to have him groan and leave the room. It was getting me down, as I felt that I have shown interest and even got involved in his interests. I have never expected him to leap right in and join me, but some support and interest in my progress would be nice. I had some varying replies to my statement, and I have tried my best to realise that I can’t force him to be interested, and that I should really actually be grateful, for the fact that I can pretty much go see my horse when I want – he never begrudges me that. The financial side of it all is not an issue and is never questioned (it cost how much?!!), to the point where I am currently waiting for my new Cruiser saddle to arrive. So I have come to realise that perhaps I should be grateful for what I do have, and that I can do the things I do without any objection or restriction. Interestingly, since I have started to ‘let it go’, and through a little gentle discussion, he has in fact discovered (through his own thought processes), that he is jealous of my horse. It had been my suspicion all along, but I certainly wasn’t going to suggest it to him! Since this realisation, I have noticed a change in my husband. He is…
Sounds like good changes are in the air.
Hey – Janette I loved reading your reply and so glad that the your husband actually admitted being jealous of your horse. Something like that has NEVER crossed my mind. While my Boyfriend has been great we are struggling to split our time with horse time with his kids time and we end up well being with our own kids – mine being the large 4 legged kind. I never, ever once thought that he might be a little jealous of the horse. i at times get jealous of the kids – who knew. Something to think about!!!
Hi Pam, yes, that’s quite a big thing for a bloke (or anyone for that matter) to admit. And I know what you mean, about the juggling act. Although not a blended family like yourself, I still have to put the kids and our business first, and well, quite frankly sometimes I just want to put my horse time first! Glad my post has provoked some thoughts for you. Good luck with your horse journey, and the juggling
I have to agree, my husband loves water, he has a boat and loves to go out diving, (not fishing) his hours are crazy at work, and some times we dont see eachother for days, but in the weekends after a long crazy work week, he will tell me “sweety, go to the barn and spend time with your horses, you need that” and if I need his help with something he will come along, take care of what ever it is, and then he will stay in the truck reading a book in till I am done with the riding or what ever I am doing…
In 2009 my husband was depl. to Iraq, while he was there, 2 of my horses had severe injuries to their legs that ended them in the hospital for weeks, when my husband found out, he would call me to ask if I was ok and if the horses ware doing ok…. my husband is my best friend and I would not be able to have my dream with out him. <3
If this is a contest for wonderful men, I want to put mine in the running. We’d only been together for a year when the flood hit. He helped prepare and evacuate. When my house went under, I moved in with him and the horses boarded 60 miles away. The dear man hauled hay here and there, waited patiently when we’d “swing by” the horses only 20 miles out of the way of where we were going, and agreed to move and build a new “ranch” from scratch. I say we fenced 5 acres, but he did so much of it himself, putting in all the brace posts, he designed and supervised the horse shed and he is there for every trip to fetch hay. Every day he checks the water because he’s here in daylight and I’m at work, and lets Annie out of the side pasture when she’s done with her grain. He grew up on a real ranch ridin’ and ropin’ and thinks I fuss too much, but when I come home with 40 minutes of daylight to spare and race into my horse-play clothes instead of talking about his day, he’s got pork chops on the grill when I come in. Finding him was worth every heartache I ever sustained. There has bee so much positive in my life this past year, I would do the flood all over again if need be. I hope I don’t have to, but it wouldn’t be a hard choice.
I too am blessed with a wonderful man who supports me 110% and understands the special love I share with my horses. Without him the life (dream) I’m living wouldn’t be nearly as much fun or possible. He’s always coming up with new ideas on how to make our farm better for the horses and has built all our fences and does nearly all the maintainence (along with my wonderful Dad, he is an incredible support too).
Don, you underestimate us ladies. Any friend of a horse is a friend of ours! We’d LOVE to have your comments on our walls.
I’m fortunate to have a husband who not only supports my Parelli addiction but participates as well. He doesn’t ride, but is very into driving and farming with our draft horses and is completely supportive of the program, even if he doesn’t follow it to the letter. We are also “Parelli Parents” and use the Parelli-isms and principles on our son, and it works like a charm! I love my horsey husband!
← Previous Comments