Have you noticed most of the people on Parelli Connect are women? So where are all the men?
Jamie: My husband is not a rider. I started to say “not a horse lover,” but that is not quiet true. While he is not comfortable around them himself, he totally supports my horse addiction, even enabling it.
I broke my arm a few years ago when Cici was stung by a bee on her belly and leapt in the air. I fell to the ground. As I was waiting for the bones to heal, Robert drove me to the barn every day. “Take as long as you need,” he’d tell me, and he’d sit in the car reading a book. I would sit in the paddock with Cici and Casey.
“Why are you doing this? I know how upset you are about the accident and how you blame Cici,” I’d say. His response? “You need horse time to completely heal.”
Jo said: What a heartwarming story, Jamie. A few years ago I was in the running for first place in State in my Hunter-Jumper division. Every competition counted. The week of our biggest competition, I got a call from my son, saying their second child was on the way. I wrote off the competition and hopped on a plane, arriving into town before the baby. I was privileged to spend the week with them, helping out.
Mentally I had given up the competition, but as my plane landed back in Salt Lake City, my trainer called. “The competition is running late,” she said, “and if you hurry, you can make it.” I started to tell her I was just getting off the plane when my husband buzzed thru saying, “Honey, I have been watching this competition and it’s running late. I got your clothes (out of the dirty clothes), I’ve warmed up your horse, and I think we can make it if you drive straight there.” I told my trainer, drove straight to the competition, changed in the back of the trailer, and got to the ring 30 seconds before my turn in the arena.
I think what we’re both trying to say is that whether they ride or not, whether they practice Parelli or not, it’s hard to do horses without support, and husbands can be a remarkable support.
Jamie said: I’ve noticed posts on Parelli Connect regarding husbands. How they have given their wives the opportunity to reconnect with their dream of horses. How they build things such as barns and slow feeders. Dig post holes and put up fencing. Even go ranch shopping! And how they are there for their horse-crazy women.
Jo said: My husband calls himself “A Desperate Horse Husband,” but it’s always with a smile on his face.
We have different styles. He’s an old cowboy type who was riding bareback from childhood. I think it’s important to support each other respectfully, no matter what our styles. While my husband doesn’t “practice Parelli,” I did notice him saying “Well, Parelli says . . .” when a friend mentioned a problem with his horse the other day. He had it right, so I just walked away quietly with a smile on my face.
Jamie said: I think my husband would agree with “Desperate Horse Husband!” While he is not involved with horses, he often tells me to “go to the barn.” I pause and thank him for his willingness to share me with my horses.
{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }
When I suggested to my husband that perhaps I could now purchase a horse, he said, “A horse? What would we do with a horse?” 7 years later he helps me unload and stack hay and put up electric fencing. He has learned how to lead one of my two horses to the trailer, but that is as far as he goes…….except that he pays the bills and we all know that the purchase price of the horse is the least of the expenses. I love that man!
I really enjoyed reading this blog, as I too have a husband who supports my horse obsession. Let’s thank God for giving us wonderful partners… and husbands. Haha.
My Husband is a veterinarian and loves animals. I know he didn’t really realize what he was getting himself into when he married me. However he is truly my biggest fan and I couldn’t do it without him. He supports all of my dreams that I have with my horses. When I am sick or away at a horse event he is out sun or snow storm caring for my horses. He even goes out before bedtime to give them their Whinnies cookies. I agree life with horses would be very hard without my husband.
Thanks for your wonderful wonderful comments, everyone.Soo much great positivity! You reminded me of all the other wonderful things my husband does that I didn’t mention. To quote Angie, We are so LUCKY to have our “wonderful partners. . . and husbands”!
My husband wouldn’t get closer than 3 feet to my horse, then he started watching the Parelli tapes with me. They helped build his confidence and now he’s even the best one around at giving any horse a dewormer! Thanks Parelli!
My husband is my first real Parelli convert! most of our conversations are about our horses these days, or about the new property we are building to live with them! I am so proud of him to have been so willing to step out of his comfort zone and share this wonderful journey with me!
So true! My husband rarely rides yet quietly supports in so many ways. He has mucked stalls, fed, stacked haybales, built shelters, spread rock, cleaned and repaired the trailer, put lights in the arena, etc. Oh, and listened to my never ending tales of my progress or attempts. He has also sat with me through an entire day of auditing a clinic that I wasn’t even in. And had some spot on observations at the end, which means he REALLY observed. I love my desperate horse husband!
Love to hear how your husband supports you in your horse addiction.
I have to say I definitely identify with the husbands in your blog, haha. I’m not married, but my girlfriend has a horse and spends quite a bit of time at the barn. The horse doesn’t necessarily like me, hahaha, but it’s good for her to have horse time.
How I can relate to this. My boyfriend and his children have totally embraced my love of horses. He helps stack and load the hay. he covers for me if I can’t do chores. He helps clean the stalls, bathes, etc. We do not live on the same farm my horse is kept. My horse is a clyde and shares the field/farm with 7 other Clydes. I help out with the 7 others to defer board. Plus it is great therapy. We do shows, parades, weddings, proms – you name it. We are there and in some cases it is us and the 2 kids. I actually met his kids at the barn – which I totally believe helped bridge a gap. At the time there were 16 clydes on the farm and 8 in the barn. I said to the then 6 year old girl – which one do you want to play with. She looked at me – I pulled out Charlie – and we all gave Charlie a bath. I have watched the 6 year old change with the horses from timid to being out in the field with up to 10 all enamored with her. We are quite the family.
oh and he stacks hay even though he is allergic to it! And he plans to build a float (trailer) and a bridge!
so true…mine is keen on building fencing…and often quotes Pat…lol…great blog….
I totally agree, a recent injury meant that I could little with my boy, Ian did everything, grooming, rugging, mucking out, and quality non demanding time with my Florian. I put a picture on Connect of how happy they are, Flo lying down, Ian saying Good morning, Ian in a bright dayglo jacket! Ian supports Parelli all the way and is a huge advocate!!
Guess I always pick the wrong man. Now I will not even bother unless they have a passion for horses. You are lucky
I wish my husband were as understanding as y’alls seems to be. Mine hopes I fail and thinks I’m crazy and I’m going to get hurt. So glad there are so many supportive husbands that will help their wives even though they don’t ride. Congratulations to all of you!
Had to chuckle about this blog! Famous last words from my dear hubby 20 yrs ago when I got my first mare…”I never knew you wanted a horse”. Over these past years he has built (with his own hands) a lovely barn, put up and maintained fence,and watched my horse when I’ve been out of town. And last fall, when I was on a trip, he even was able to accurately identify that my mare was having a bout of colic, called the vet and medicated her all by himself! This guy is so special. He often says that he doesn’t understand it, but notes how much it means to me and he has been my rock. However, I have heard him quite correctly explain to others what I am doing with my mare.(so I guess he does listen to me when I’m prattling on about equine issues!) Gotta love this guy! When you have this level of support, the sky is the limit.
Even though my husband is not the emotional or sensitive type, he is supportive in his own way. He once told me when I was trying to teach Bugs the sideways game that I was “terrorizing” that horse. His comment was on the video that I had hoped to send in for my level 1. That was back in the day when I did not know how to mute the video tape. Yep- long enough ago that the video was on a tape. (2001 I think)
Supportive in my house means- hauling manure, baling hay, fixing fences, building playground toys, and backing the trailer back into the shed when my frustration level gets to the boiling point. He is a good guy.
Jean
I was using Parelli Connect for a while but found almost no other Men on and figured it was kind of creepy for an older guy to comment on ladies posts so I just check occasionally now.
Even when we ride it is hard to find other Men on the trail. Those that I do come across are genuine and kind. Always good to share a story with a horseman.
Have a great day!
My husband is not the horse lover I am but has come to recognize, that I am and I need my horse time to feel complete. He fulfilled a dream when we moved to an area that allowed me to have a horse(s). He now knows what that really entailed but gives me plenty of time to play. You see, he knows me well. I had to have surgery and as an incentive to take it easy(he calls me the energizer bunny) and rehab as instructed he gave me a gift of a course at Pagosa. He even offered to drive me if needed, and be basically ignored for two weeks just so I could learn. He could not have given me anything better. So to my husband(spouses) and all others out there. Thanks for the gift of time…and understanding.
I read this blog with a smile on my face as some of my Parelli Connect friends and I have had conversations about this very topic! I am lucky that altho not a rider, my partner does like horses and supports me in my dream, and hasn’t yet disputed any of my (sometimes expensive) plans to convert our lifestyle block into a totally horse-friendly environment. Finding ways to involve our partners in Parelli events, perhaps in an organisational role (ie: manning the BBQ) was one suggestion to help those whose partners are less than understanding of the time and love we lavish on our hairy friends. I too am thankful that he is happy to share me with them.
Loved this. Long before he loved horses and Parelli my husband knew the value of my having horse time. Now that our horse and the Parellis won his heart, he continues to support my horse habit. Wit my current physical issues, without his partcipation above and beyond, I could not continue horseying around.
He is my gem.