A Parelli Professional’s Guide to Seeking Answers and Asking the Right Questions

2 Star Parelli Professional Kerryn Armstrong sent us this blog.  We think it really articulates what a lot of Parelli members experience all the time.  So sit back, relax, and enjoy!

True Parelli students stand out from the crowd for many reasons, but in my humble opinion, the biggest is how they question, why they question and what they question.

As we move through the program, we start to realize that the information is there, we just have to go in search of it. Sometimes that mean re-watching a specific DVD 100 times or getting a video to an instructor even if it means paying your milk man to film it for you. The answer might be in another country, and the long procedure of working out a plan to shift mountains and children and partners to get there begins. Others might just need to spend time with their hands on the rope. The answers are everywhere, and always available but sometimes we may not get our exact question answered, or the exact answer we wanted. Does that mean we aren’t getting the right information? On the contrary, we are probably getting the exact information we need; the issue is probably that we don’t know we need it!

So, how do Parelli students start to ask questions? Firstly, they stop asking “How do I make…” questions. We start to notice the vocabulary change to “How do I cause”; from there the questions start to become less autocratic still. “How can I help my horse understand?” or  “How can I build towards this goal?”, rather than a direct-line, predatory “How do I do this?” or “How do you get a horse to do that?” Can you see, through the vocabulary, how the student is taking charge of their own learning to empower themselves?

Next, the why… “Why do you let your horse…” becomes “Why did you allow your horse to come in at the point?” Then, as we grow as learners, we start to turn the why questions into a more internal question. When watching Linda, Pat, or any of the instructors demonstrating, we ask ourselves, “Why did they release there? Why did the push a little more at the point?” It becomes a more positive question that doesn’t need an immediate answer. We understand the value of waiting for those answers as we gather more savvy. Why becomes almost a personal test for us as learners, as something to ask instead of the frustrated question from Levels 1 and 2 – “Why can’t I do it this way?” and “Why do I have to fix it?” an so on.

What we question is another key point. The response a student is looking for is clearer for me in what they question then any other. Are they questioning “What is going on, what are they trying to achieve, what is the matter with…?” Chances are the journey hasn’t yet become clear; this isn’t a bad thing, in fact. As long as they are still asking questions, they are still learning! For me though, as an instructor, that is a sign I need to talk with the student and see if I can add any clarity or if they just need time to work it all out. When “what” they start questioning is more about the possibilities of achieving, I know they are starting to have focus.

So the old quote of “watch your thoughts as they become your words, watch your words because they become your actions, watch your actions because they become your habits, watch your habits because they become your character, watch your character because that becomes your destiny” is very true! Next time you find yourself faced with a question, think about what information that question will glean. It sounds backwards, working out the answer to the question before you ask it, to see if it’s what you want to ask. Try it …

Tagged as: Kerryn Armstrong, Parelli Media