Learning and Living with a Right-Brain Extrovert

Seven years ago, I rescued a scraggy little pony. At that time, I never realised how truly damaged he was emotionally, and how much he would teach me not only about horses, but also about myself. It took me over three years to stop listening to ‘professionals’. I hated it when I tied his mouth tighter when he got his tongue over the bit, tied his head with a martingale, used the stronger bit. It felt wrong. But I did it, because I wanted the unwanted behaviours to stop. You see, my horse Jack had every unwanted behaviour in the book, and grew into one big Oldenburg warmblood. It is sadly a general treatment of those difficult, unpredictable horses. Oh, if only I knew what I know now! When I was told that he was too dangerous, and that I would never get to his mind, I felt defeated. By this time, I was also very scared of him.

Enter Parelli. We progressed very quickly, but there wasn’t a happy ending straight away. I learned the actions, but I didn’t understand the deeper meaning. I didn’t understand my horse and how he felt. I didn’t understand me or how I felt. I pushed him, and I pushed me. I skipped stuff that wasn’t so easy and didn’t seem important as long as I was riding my horse, and six months into the program, he exploded quite spectacularly. To cut a long story short, I had a bad injury and couldn’t ride for eight months. It was the best thing that could have happened to us. I stopped my fast forward. I knew that this stuff worked, but I needed to explore where I went wrong. It took a lot to realise that I was still an arrogant human that tried to force and control my horse on my terms.

So I turned from someone who ‘did’ Parelli into a student. It actually took me a long time to learn enough to realise that Jack was a Right-Brain Extrovert, and he was closely linked through both learned and innate behaviours to be fearful and reactive. The advent of Horsenality™ was such a huge concept, and it helped me peel off the layers of my horse. To isolate, separate and recombine, something I used in my games but not so in the psychology and body language.

Building the relationship and matching energy.

I had to learn so many mixed signs that caused confusion. A cocked leg is a symbol of relaxation, but combined with other signs it also means “I am scared and I am ready to run.” A high tail carriage can mean exuberance, but it also means adrenaline, a fear reaction. I learned to read the horse as a whole, and to not jump on one element and try and fit it into a box.

In time I started to understand him, and then I had to deal with my fear of him. Fear is a huge subject, and one that I would like to give full time and credence to in the future. So today, I would just like to say that when I found through the Parelli program that fear was okay, I managed to move forward and deal with my own fear responses so that they didn’t invoke fear reactions in my horse. This has been a long process, and it is still ongoing now.

I've learned how to interact with my Right-Brain Extrovert!

So, after a further two years, I learned to have a true partnership with my horse. Everything was shiny. Or it was until I decided to go out to a clinic. How often had I heard that people, places, changes and things may cause a different response in your horse?! Was I ready? Absolutely not. Had I learned? Absolutely not. Did I go to the right place? My goodness, yes! I was in a safe environment with a Parelli Professional who could give me advice and support, and who had the ability to deal with my crazy horse. It was a day of tears, frustration and feeling of failure. I was back to where I started. I went home. I sobbed my heart out. I had hit a very important crossroads in my journey as a student. Do I stay in our comfort area? Never go out and hack around our little area where Jack felt safe, and not upset the applecart? Or do I take a leap of faith and jump outside of my comfort zone to progress?

The point where I agreed to go to the next clinic was a total commitment to never-ending self-improvement. Since that day two years ago, this fabulous animal has taught me something every day, has tested my leadership to heights I couldn’t imagine, made me learn to control my emotions and my energy, and given me endless patience. I have taught him that I can be the leader he wants and needs me to be. I can make him safe and teach him trust, and he in turn can now trust me. I continue to learn the skills to be good at communicating so that I don’t cause confusion. His right-brained behaviour has almost disappeared completely, although his innate Horsenality is there if you look watch him, and he reminds me from time to time that I need to be there for him.

So, how is it learning and living with a Right-Brain Extrovert? Like each Horsenality, it has it’s challenges. There may be some tears, there may be some mountains to climb, but when you get to the top, there is no better feeling in the world than have a prey animal give you trust to look after its most precious thing – its life!

Tagged as: Lisa Trowse, Parelli Media